Letting Go of Mum Guilt: Why Prioritising Yourself Makes You a Better Mum
There’s an unspoken rule in modern motherhood that whispers, "good mums put everyone else first."
We see it in the skipped meals, the forgotten hobbies, and the self-care relegated to a grocery shop alone. Somewhere along the way, we learned that martyrdom equals motherhood. But what if we flipped the script? What if prioritising yourself doesn’t make you selfish – but strong?
The Heavy Weight of Mum Guilt
Mum guilt shows up in the quietest moments. It’s the pang you feel when you leave your crying toddler to go to a much-needed pilates class. The guilt when you decline a playdate because you’re just touched out. The mental tug-of-war between what you need and what your children want.
But here’s the thing: guilt is not a measure of love. You can deeply care for your children and still care for yourself. In fact, doing so sets the most powerful example of all.
You Can't Pour From an Empty Cup
We hear this phrase all the time, but let’s take a moment to really let it land. Imagine running on zero sleep, skipping meals, and pushing through without a moment to breathe. That’s not sustainable. It leads to burnout, resentment, and a sense of losing yourself.
When you make space for your needs – whether it’s alone time, creative expression, rest, movement, or connection – you refill your cup. You become more present, patient, and emotionally available.
Prioritising Yourself Is Not Abandoning Them
Somewhere along the motherhood journey, we began to equate putting ourselves first with neglect. But your needs don’t vanish the moment you become a mum. You are still a person with dreams, boundaries, and a right to joy.
When your children see you honouring yourself, they learn to honour themselves. When they see you ask for help, take a break, or pursue a passion, they learn it’s safe and healthy to do the same.
Redefining Self-Care
Self-care doesn’t always mean bubble baths and spa days. Sometimes, it’s saying no without overexplaining. It’s going to bed early, unfollowing accounts that trigger comparison, or having hard conversations. It’s about tuning into your needs and meeting them with compassion.
Motherhood may be your most important role, but it’s not your only one. You are still YOU.
How to Start Letting Go of the Guilt
Start small: Take 10 minutes a day to do something that’s just for you.
Challenge the narrative: When guilt creeps in, ask yourself: "Would I judge a friend for doing this?"
Involve your family: Share with your kids why you’re going for a walk or taking a class. Let them see the joy it brings.
Find your village: Surround yourself (online or IRL) with mums who support and encourage self-prioritisation.
Letting go of mum guilt isn’t easy. It takes unlearning, boundary-setting, and a whole lot of self-compassion. But the truth is, when you prioritise yourself, everyone wins.
Your children get a mum who’s energised, inspired, and grounded. And you get to live a life that’s not only about surviving motherhood but thriving through it.
You are not just a mum. And taking care of yourself doesn’t make you less of one. It makes you more of who you were always meant to be.
Tune into our podcast episode talking all things mum guilt and how we’ve fallen for the lie that personal hygiene is the same as self-care, coming this Friday.