Before You Set Goals for the New Year, Ask Yourself This: Who Am I Becoming?
With the start of the new year, the pressure to set goals can feel overwhelming — especially for mums.
Wake up earlier.
Be more organised.
Make more time for yourself.
Feel like you again.
We start the new year with good intentions and then wonder why, a few weeks in, those goals quietly fall away.
What if the problem isn’t your motivation — but where you’re starting from?
Before you set goals for 2026, there’s one question worth asking first:
Who am I becoming?
Why Most Goals Don’t Stick (Especially for Mums)
Most goals fail because we begin at the surface level.
We focus on what we want to do:
“I want to wake up earlier.”
“I want more time for myself.”
“I want to feel like myself again.”
But we skip the deeper question:
Who do I need to believe I am in order for these changes to feel natural?
When your identity doesn’t match your goals, change feels like a constant uphill battle — something you have to force, rather than something that fits.
And in motherhood, where time, energy, and capacity are already stretched, forced change rarely lasts.
Identity-Based Change: A Different Starting Point
In Atomic Habits, James Clear introduces the idea of identity-based change.
Instead of asking:
What do I want to achieve?
You ask:
Who is the type of person who would naturally do this?
This shift matters because behaviour follows belief.
You don’t wake up early because you set an alarm — you wake up early because you see yourself as someone who values quiet mornings.
You don’t make time for yourself because it’s on a to-do list — you make time for yourself because you believe your time matters.
What Identity-Based Change Looks Like in Mum Life
Let’s take a common goal many mums carry:
“I want to prioritise myself.”
Now compare these two approaches:
❌ I should make more time for me.
✔️ I am a woman who values her time.
❌ I’ll try to squeeze something in when everything else is done.
✔️ I am someone who makes space for herself.
❌ I’m just a mum now.
✔️ I am not just a mum — I’m a whole person.
Same life. Different identity.
When your identity shifts, your choices begin to follow — without the same level of resistance or guilt.
The Stories We Repeat Can Quietly Keep Us Stuck
James Clear writes:
“When you have repeated a story to yourself for years, it is easy to slide into these mental grooves and accept them as a fact.”
Many mums unknowingly carry stories like:
“I don’t have time.”
“This is just how life is now.”
“I’m not that kind of person.”
“I’ll focus on myself later.”
When these stories go unchallenged, change feels impossible — even when the desire is there.
But when the story shifts, so does what feels possible.
A Small Mindset Shift Can Create Real Change
In Episode 4 of the Not Just A Mum podcast, Laura shared a powerful example of this.
She didn’t overhaul her life. She simply changed one sentence.
From:
“I’m not a morning person.”
To:
“I’m learning how to enjoy my mornings.”
Nothing else changed. Same responsibilities. Same season of life.
But that identity shift created space for new habits to form — gently, naturally, without pressure.
Vision Boards, Reimagined
This is where vision boards are often misunderstood — and where they can become incredibly powerful.
Vision boards aren’t about:
Aesthetic goals
Hustle culture
Becoming a “better” version of yourself
Fixing what’s broken
They’re about reinforcing identity.
A vision board becomes a daily reminder of:
Who you’re becoming
What you’re choosing to believe about yourself
What you’re no longer shrinking or apologising for
It’s not a checklist. It’s a mirror.
Your vision board isn’t about doing more. It’s about being more you.
Gentle Questions to Ask Before Planning for the New Year
Before you map out goals, routines, or habits, try sitting with these questions:
Who do I want to be this year?
How do I want to feel in my body and my life?
What kind of woman would honour that feeling?
What beliefs about myself need to shift first?
When identity leads, habits follow — not the other way around.
Planning Without Pressure
If you’re ready to plan your year without rigid resolutions or unrealistic expectations, starting with identity changes everything.
The our Vision Board Kit was created to help you:
Clarify who you’re becoming
Visualise how you want life to feel
Reinforce identity, not pressure
Plan your year with intention instead of chaos
Because when you change who you believe you are, everything else begins to fall into place — gently, sustainably, and in a way that fits your real life.