How to Reconnect with Yourself When You Feel Lost in Motherhood
Motherhood is beautiful, life-changing, and filled with love — but it’s also one of the easiest times to lose sight of yourself. Between sleepless nights, school drop-offs, endless snacks, and the invisible load of running a household, many mums find themselves wondering: Who am I outside of being a mum?
If you’ve ever looked in the mirror and thought, I don’t even recognise myself anymore, you’re not alone. Feeling lost in motherhood is a shared experience for so many women, yet it’s something we rarely talk about openly. The good news? You can reconnect with yourself. You can rediscover your identity, your passions, and the woman you were all while embracing the new version of yourself that motherhood has created.
The reason why so many mums feel like they lose themselves (it’s not just about exhaustion —though that’s a big part of it) motherhood often shifts your entire sense of identity and autonomy.
You go from being “you” to being “mum.” Suddenly, your name, your job title, and even your interests get overshadowed by motherhood. Your time and decisions are no longer entirely your own. Everything revolves around nap schedules, meal prep, and school runs. (We chat all about that loss of autonomy on episode 5 of the podcast).
We’re told “a good mum” is selfless, but that messaging leaves little room for personal desires or growth. And, when you do take time for yourself, guilt creeps in, making it even harder to prioritise what you need.
The result? Many mums feel invisible, unfulfilled, and stuck. But here’s the truth: prioritising yourself isn’t selfish — it’s necessary.
So, what are some practical ways to reconnect with yourself?
1. Carve Out Guilt-Free Time Just for You
It doesn’t have to be a whole day — even 20 minutes can make a difference. Whether it’s journaling, meditating, or just enjoying a hot cup of tea without interruption, start small and build the habit of putting yourself on the list.
2. Explore a New Hobby
One of the best ways to rediscover yourself is through hobbies. Hobbies spark joy, creativity, and a sense of individuality that motherhood can sometimes dim. From pottery to pilates, gardening to photography, hobbies reconnect you with passions outside of parenting.
✨ Need inspiration? Check out our Hobby Guide for dozens of hobby ideas and browse our Hobby Hub to find businesses that can help you dive into something new.
3. Reconnect with Your Body
Motherhood changes your body, and it’s easy to disconnect from it. Gentle movement like yoga, walking, or dance can help you feel grounded again. It’s less about “bouncing back” and more about coming home to yourself.
4. Nurture Friendships Beyond Motherhood
Mum friends are amazing because you can turn to them when you’re unsure whether your baby should be pooping only once a week, but conversations that don’t revolve around milestones, nap schedules, or teething can feel refreshing. Either round up your mum friends and go out and do something different to shake things up (I have a group of friends who I exclusively go do different activities with every time we hang out — so far we’ve done clay making and a cocktail class), or make new friends through hobby groups or local events.
5. Honour Your Dreams and Goals
You’re still allowed to want more — whether that’s studying, starting a business, or just picking up a book you’ve been meaning to read. Ambition doesn’t disappear when you become a mum. In fact, motherhood often ignites it, look at our podcast guest Laura, for example!
You’re Allowed to Take Up Space
Motherhood doesn’t erase your individuality. You can be a nurturing, present mum and a woman with her own passions, needs, and goals. Reconnecting with yourself doesn’t mean rejecting motherhood — it means weaving your identity back into the fabric of your life.
So if you’ve been feeling lost in motherhood, start with one small step. Pick up a hobby, write down your dreams, call a friend, or carve out time just for you.