Finding the Pleasure in Motherhood: Rethinking Desire, Sensuality & Self-Care with Regan Figg
Ep 12: The Pleasure in the Mundane: Reclaiming Yourself in the Everyday Moments of Motherhood
What if we didn’t have to just survive motherhood, but actually have it be pleasureable?
In this episode, I'm joined by Regan Figg — author of A Mother's Pleasure, a pleasure-led business coach, host of The Pleasurepreneur podcast, and former exercise physiologist, yoga and meditation teacher — for a conversation about what it actually means to reclaim pleasure in motherhood. Not sexual pleasure but the kind of pleasure that comes from being truly present in your own life, connected to your desires, and treated as a whole woman rather than just a role.
Regan's own journey into this work began after the birth of her first son, when the four-month sleep regression triggered insomnia, postnatal depression and anxiety. What followed was years of digging deep — through therapy, research, and her own experimentation — into what it actually takes to feel good as a mother, not just okay.
What We Cover in This Episode:
The postpartum Pandora's box — and what we unknowingly take on when we become "mum"
Regan introduces the idea of the postpartum Pandora's box: the moment we become mothers, we open up a whole set of stories, beliefs and societal rules about who we're supposed to be. We dial up the parts of ourselves that feel "acceptable" as a mother and quietly suppress the rest — the wild, the ambitious, the rageful, the playful, the sexual. As I put it in the conversation: we end up cosplaying what we think a mum should be, and the cost of that over time is a deep loss of self.
The basic needs cup vs the life force energy cup
Drawing on Daoist philosophy, Regan explains her two-cup framework: our basic needs cup must be full before it can overflow into our life force energy cup — the place where desire, aliveness, excitement and yes, sexual energy, live. For so many mums, the basic needs cup has been running on empty for years, and wondering why they don't feel like themselves anymore. Regan also explores how so much of mothering is actually masculine energy — schedules, doing, achieving, managing — and how we create invisible energy leaks when we don't balance that with the more receptive, sensory, feminine.
Sensuality — and why it has nothing to do with sex
One of the most powerful reframes in this episode is Regan's explanation of sensuality. It's not about lingerie or candlelit rooms — it's about being present in your senses. Tasting your coffee. Feeling the sun on your skin. Laughing at your kids doing something ridiculous. Regan shares how she began practising this during the chaos of getting two toddlers into car seats, and how arriving at the same destination in a completely different felt sense changed everything. I share my own version — switching Danny Go for my own music on the four-hour Friday night drive to Sydney — and how it's shifted my entire experience of that time.
Self-care as a lifestyle, not a list
Perhaps the most practical part of the conversation, Regan breaks down why self-care as a to-do list will never work — and what it looks like to weave it into your life as a lifestyle instead. She shares real examples from her own motherhood: sorting washing in the sun with a coffee while the kids play, swapping the Wiggles for music she actually loves, double-pram walks with a podcast. None of it required extra time. All of it required a decision to let herself matter inside the moments she was already in.
Regan's Permission Slip for this month:
"It is okay for you to ask yourself: what would bring me pleasure? And do just that."
Resources & Mentions:
Grab a copy A Mother's Pleasure by Regan Figg
Connect with Regan on Instagram — @regan_figg
Visit Regan's website — reganfigg.com
🎟️ Wollongong IRL Event — if you're local to the Illawarra, and you’re ready to reconnect with who you are outside the title “mum” and meet some new friends along the way, join the waitlist for my in-person event.
💬 Listener Takeaway:
You are allowed to actually enjoy motherhood. To make the mundane moments more pleasureable.
🎧 Listen to the Episode Now:
Hit play on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.
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